An Aubade

a mistress,I am to you
clad in a seductive white
i wait for you
deeply rooted in here
as the night grows old
i yearn for you more
and sing this song of twilight
though miles apart we are
never can hold our hands
or kiss
but your gaze,those
soft moonlit rays,
from the heavens
i glow and twinkle
in your love
i grow whimsical
nothing more do I need
and as this aubade ends
i too will wilt away
yearning for your love
from this far across land!

Note : A song between the moon and water lily,at twilight

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj-t4DMSlYtkPL9vs7ROBPoLrUBCSkXdIHquSyfgmxFZQ3JBh-B34kb7Tx3Q3lPYUHNugM1_3xntXqY0KpV1kKkazm3du0OV_d_TVwwrDQb7-k1Hw97pSwGo0yNUxLo2cjEzN7tbN1f1zz/s1600/A.jpg

March Marched Away...

Leaving me lazier than ever!!

The sultry march was so longg...as if in a deep slumber to protect itself from the growing heat of summer.Yet,she did bring me a few good things ,

• Finally it came to me as a big relief that I was misdiagnosed.It all started with a wrong blood report,on the basis of which medicines were administrated to me,which in turn threw my health out of balance!!I had a massive weight gain,hair thinning,mood swings,dizziness,heart burns,ulcers....etc.And I stopped taking the medicines based on my gut feeling and voila,every single health issue subsided the next day and vanished within a week :).Now,back to normal.Though this did affect my blog posts but nonetheless,a healthy body is most important!


• At work,no work!! :).We had a whole month of free time,due to our client being on his paternity leave and our project being on maintenance mode.And I lazily spend the entire month surfing the internet,FB,WP Blogs,Quora.And the  finally deactivated all accounts except for blogs here.Well,I am at peace


• My girl,is all grown up and will be at a summer camp next week to reduce her boredom at home.When we started looking for play schools for here,for one of the so called best school in my area,apparently,2 years is age-over for day care and she has to take "extra classes" to catch up when she starts actual school at June.Well,I decided that my girl would never be taking any stupid extra classes to grow up.


• And here at blogs,I had the maximum views,comments and visitors since this blog has started,which has made me super happy!!

Now April is here,so will be the "New Year" as per our traditions.This month used to bring a lot of happiness,get togethers of families,yellow flowers,unniyappams,ah....Though days are going to be hotter,I can feel the numbness of being a grown up!!

 

Monday Blues!

Dated : 21-March-2016

Cheers :)

At 3,I believed happiness was everywhere and in everybody.

At 5,I believed happiness was to see everything this world just by climbing up my dad's shoulders!

At 6,happiness was when I got to eat my favourite biscuits as snacks .

At 8,happiness was when I won the first district level competition for a painting contest.

At 11, I was on cloud nine, when my parents bought me that cute birthday dress after repeated requests from months before :).

At 13, Oh my evergreen pick hero bicycle!!

At 15,Happiness was all wrapped up in that proud feeling of topping my school.

At 18, The excitement to be able to become an Engineer that too in a Govt college,without burning a hole in my parents emergency funds.

At 19, Finding my way out of innocence of childhood,trying out adventures with friends,late night talks,hostel pranks,cultural,dances :) Sweet!

At 20, It has to be the look returned by the boy I had a huge crush upon,well that made me happy :D

At 21,Securing that first job,happiness was redefined when I saw tears in my amma's eyes!

At 22,I'm sure it was the first salary I earned :D and the independence it bought.

At 25,earning a decent salary and being able to help my dad built our home and I realised money do bring happiness.

At 26, Getting married to "The One, R"

At 26,blush blush...First Kiss,how can I miss that ;).Damn,more than being happy,I was nervous!!

At 29, Holding my little girl before anyone else could have :D,that is the most happiest I have ever felt.I do certainly believe, this cannot be topped off with..:D

At 30,Being here..I know,I can go home to see my girl who will be waiting.I know,I have my mom and dad to take care of me no matter the age.I know,I have a superb hubs waiting for my return.I know,I have a better job that most of the people.The realisation,has made me more humble and happy.So,yes,This moment makes me happy

In response to the IndiSpire Edition 108 : What does happiness mean to you? Do you go looking for happiness?

A Lifetime Memory

It been just 2 years, but you, my little daughter...you have given me a lifetime of memories already.Right from the day when showed up as two small lines in the pregnancy test results till yesterday, I have collected and stored every single moment with you.I still vividly remember this poem, which I had written about you while being pregnant,

My Angel

Overwhelmed with joy
My eyes brim with tears
When I saw my little angel

My hands tremble with fear
On touching her tender face
For  I was afraid
My roughness would hurt her

Getting her to my arms
Was a true divine moment
It was nowhere similar
To what I had always imagined

Holding her in arms
A longing dream of mine
Truly a bundle of joy
That  I had in my arms

Cute eyes and small nose
Rose lips and Soft toes
Nowhere she resembled me
As her father said…

Suddenly she twists,
Raising her closed pink fist
As though in protest
For disturbing her sleep

Rocking her back to sleep
I watched my lovely gift
And I realize that,
My life has changed forever

And, turns out you were exactly the same :).

My life changed the moment I held you in my arms.I still remember my heavy screaming during my delivery, but that was nothing close to emotional the first moment I first saw you.You, a tiny pink creature who refused to wail.I was so worried that you were not crying.Maternity Instincts :P.Though, you had already started looking at everyone trying to understand your new world.You were curious and happy.Your smile, your cries, your giggly laughs.Suddenly my world had become more colourful.

Your pink fists and your tiny feet.I simply loved to hold them forever.I still remember how much I turned motherly, even before I knew when you came into my life.I sensed danger everywhere and restricted you in many ways later realising how much a fool was I.

I don’t think that I can ever forget those trips for vaccinations.Your tiny screams and the painful nights, made me regret letting you take those injections.And how can I forget the days when you were shivering with fever.I would never have prayed so hard before.

Then the day came when I had to cut short my maternity leave to join office back.I trembled and cried, not knowing how I will survive without you.I simply ran to see you for every opportunity I have had(made).

Your first tooth to the day when you sat on your own.Your first incomprehensible word to the day you called me “amma”.Your first kiss for me to the day you danced with me.Your first song, your first tantrum, your dance in diapers, you mimicking me, you trying to converse in sentences, you being jealous when I talk to other babies.I have every single one of them in stored perfectly in my memory.

”N” you have made me the weakest and also the strongest.You made me realise that life can never be taken for granted.To almost losing you last year until now, you have showed me that grit is what it takes to swim against the waves at times of despair.

Thank you for all those wonderful memories you have given me and to many more that has to come!.Thanks for being my girl, my daughter.
To view my memories,click the link below:
https://memories.hdfclife.com/message/UEtmAUAYuQaqmc4NYpLbUg==

“Share your #MemoriesForLife like I’ve done at BlogAdda for HDFC Life.”

 

 

Awakening

I closed my eyes, opened a dream
Took a peek into my past
A canvas with no memories or souvenirs
I realise, my time, trickled away...

I closed my dream,opened my eyes,
Time still trickled, but,

I am awake and alive !

 

 

An Ode to February

February brings in a lot of love,as it is the official birthday month at our home :D.My dada,my mom,myself and my little "N" share our birthdays in this month and thus this is very special.We kind of have to compensate for the rest of the birthday less year.This month reminds me of cakes,new dress,food.With "N" arrival,its has changed as now she gets to enjoy all of these. :).In this month

• My girl turned 2.She is the most prized gift I ever had.I believed,I almost lost her but then she had to be there,to make me understand a lot of things I had taken for granted.Happy birthday "N"!! :)


• It was my dad and mom birthdays too.I was very happy to be able to be with them to celebrate their birthdays.


• And myself,I turned 30 and it was difficult till now :P.An entire post to follow on that.

Thanks February for being a reminder of how sweet life can be.!! ;)

Monday Blues

 

Oh,the realisation

Hit me hard

Made me pause

I then continued

But,I was a new me.

After...

Its a weirdly strange place

A barren world and I

My clothes were torn,

Dried throat and dead eyes

I hear only a faint hissing

I sweat,only to drop blood

And I smell like burnt flesh

There,I find a tattered piece of a skull

I become curious and fight my tiredness

I search to find,if there are any

                       reminiscent pieces

I walk for long hours

I am weaker than before

I just wanted to quench my thirst

I forgot my trail and mission

I turn around only to be surprised.

I am here again,where I was

And I find the missing pieces

Of broken skull

A few withered away

And few cracked ones

Some with flesh on it

I try to put them together

It slowly shaped to become me...

I was all afraid and I try to run

But my feet grows deep roots

I sink and my soul disappeared

Much to my dismay,

I fell asleep to eternity

Note : Had a weird dream and I think it was something like above.

The Reply.

“Doc, Its an emergency.10 year old boy,fell from a tree.External bruises.Unconscious".
Briefed the nurse.

*****

“Come on, kiddo…Please, just breathe…one more time .”

*****

Outside the Casualty, amidst the wailing parents, all I could mumble was,

“I am sorry”

 

 

 

Promise me my love :)

Promise me my love,
Never to lose that twinkle in your eyes
Every time you set your eyes on me

Promise me my love,
Never to stop smiling from your heart
When you see me even after a long tiring day

Promise me my love,
You will entwine your fingers with mine,hold my hand 
And share all about those silly stories

Promise me my love,
You will fight with me for things that matter
And sort them before its time to bed

Promise me my love,
You will always be you
And you will help me stay as me

Promise me my love,
That my place, right on your chest, wrapped in your arms
Will always be there for me

Promise me my love,
To hold me, to caress me and to kiss me
Even when I grow old with wrinkles and warts

Promise me my love,
That you will keep every promise to our little daughter
For you are her true superhero

Promise me my love,
To keep looking into my eyes and not on that iPhone
When I come to share you a gossip or a story :)

Promise me my love,
That you will always read my stories and sing my poems
You will help to support me in filling colors to my dreams 

Promise me my love,
To keep loving me forever and ever
Even after the certain death, that may keep us apart...

Promise me my love,
That you will keep every one of these promises to me.

My dearest hubs, "R".This one is for you.

Words just flew out from me when I just thought about you,my dear husband.You are already a gem of person.Touchwood!! .

We have been married only for 3 years now, but I am bombarded with your love from all sides.You have been very kind enough to be who you are and you are perfect in that way.

I know you don't always talk,you don't move a muscle when you are deep in your work.I also know that amount of coaxing by me can get you to  drop me unless I am sick.But none of this comes any close to as a complaint for what you have given me.You have given me that freedom for me to be independent and be who I want to be.I thus have absolutely no qualms about any thing else.These promises to keep, I am damn sure that this must have been a mission for me,instead for you.

Love you "R" :)

I’m blogging about the kasams I want from my man this Women’s Day with the #SadaSexy activity at BlogAdda

https://youtu.be/nft-m45r6I4

 

Happy Women's Day!

Women - what a phenomenal creatures are we ?

We all have a spark in us.

The desires,the happyness,the sadness,the courage,the strength,the choices,the talent,the guts.But we also have a heart,which at most of the times it melts away or make us go weak!

We certainly have come a long way from stepping out of our home and celebrating our day,but most of us still try to get back to that social norm as soon as the day the over.We need to bring forward the ideas in us to the mainstream and help built a better place for our children.The struggle taken up by our grandmothers and mothers is what has given us this space to talk and act,which we must carry forward for our children.

Now,how to make things work ,depends only us and our attitude!!