Silence

"Even the loud waves crashing on the shore could not yet beat the deafening silence she left behind."

Note: Somehow for me, the above sentence feels complete!

 

In response to the Daily Prompts : Silence

First Gift :)

A pair of "Tiny Shoes" were our first gift for our lil "N".We were forbidden by our families to buy anything before our baby was born,but I could not resist myself from not buying this pair of cuties for my child.And I know, I will forever cherish the moments I spend staring at the booties and how I would gently make her wear them :).

Well,my girl completely and utterly refused to wear them for what so ever reason,only know to her! That made me realize,she would never need my fashion advice :P

 

Day 5 of 

 

A Dream Vacation

What could be more exciting than being a carefree traveller who has access and means to travel all across the world,experience different cultures,cuisines and wonderful people.The mere mention of "travel" fills up my memory with days of summer vacations at my mom's place.That was the first of my travel adventures.Our home,chilly old town deep inside a forest is very near to Munnar.

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Though the charisma of mountains,forests and rivers are fading out,still the nostalgia holds it together as a grant picture.Travelling to my hometown means a lot of things.

Our home is surrounded by mountains on all sides.We have a small creek flowing through our land and reaches a river.Early mornings are mysteriously beautiful!We can actually wait to see the mist clearing and the mountains dawn before us while the sun rises!! And I wonder how many places can offer us such a sunrise in this world.Everywhere in this world,the sunrise is one majestic piece of Art,and the mere sight is itself fill us with a sense of belonging.I have felt this when I saw the sunrise at Kanyakumari or at Kanjenjunka :).

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Nothing beats the taste of the authentic flavours of my grandmom.Even if it is a simple pickle,her hand does the magic that not even my amma can replicate.When I was pregnant with my daughter I craved for her food,that's my Grandmom's magic food.I believe while we travel we must try out variety of food which is locally available.This really helps us understand the authentic taste of the food of that place.I feel,the authenticity loses its shine if prepared outside that particular area.When I was in Chennai,the small idlis in a bucket load of sambhar with a whole spoon of ghee...Yum...Sadly,nothing I did at home,could replicate the original taste.So there,food also adds to the experience of travelling.

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Being so near to Thekaddy Wildlife Sanctuary and Munnar,our place amidst the forest does have visits from wildlife.I have been in awe seeing the variety of monkeys,wild snakes,wild pigs,endangered species of ant eaters near by our home.And I have learned a lot from these encounters and it has also helped in gaining knowledge about the flora and fauna of my area.I still rememeber,how this had helped me with my science projects.This also reminds me about the fishes and corals I saw when I had gone snorkelling at the Andaman Islands.

We can all be tourists,but a few can be travelers who can actually get deep into the culture,learn them,understand them,be a part of them.It takes time,patience and caliber to be a traveller.These people have profound effects of travelling in their life.They are the ones who wonder,what the next destination has to offer them ?  They are travellers of lifetime :)

I am blogging about my dreams and passions for the Club Mahindra#DreamTrails activity at BlogAdda. You can get a Club Mahindra Membership to own your holidays!

Thanks Google for the lovely pics :)

Monday Blues!

We all know what we want to be in our life.We all know what we need to do to make our life.We all know what we must give up to life our life to that point where nothing matters.

But, Yet!

We all fail to simply put one foot after other and move ourself,not to the final destination of our life all at once,but to even to make that one small first step before miles to go.

Why are we like this ? What is that magic to make life happen ?Or does that magic even exists ?

Well, people like Emelia,did find that magic.So what if you have died,you have left behind a legacy that grows beyond the tragedy of life.Even at times,life or its destination fails!!

 

 

Story Time!!

I used to wait for my summer vacations,just like every other kid in the town.I will be traveling to my mama's home.A place so far away from cities and deep in the forest.And there,my grandma will be waiting for all us,me ,my brother,our cousins .It was the big-fat-get-together.It was a kind of ritual , late in the evening, after we light our lamps,we all kids sat around our dear"ammama" while she recites the stories of Mighty Kings,their wars with cruel Rakshasas.The wild chases,war,divine interventions from Gods and finally the always happy endings.The tales of her wild imagination combined with the mythical stories .Some tales took days to complete as they had sub-stories.I used to remember every single word she used to say,every single emotion she used to explain the situations.And then,after vacations,I used to tell these stories without any loss of expression to all my friends at school and in my colony.That part of a storyteller in me, made me a star among all my friends.

Then,"TV" came to our ancestral home and the story telling became a thing of past as vivid cartoons replaced my grandma's stories.Even she became more interested in those stupid-never-ending serials.And eventually,the art of storytelling was lost as we all grew up.

Some form of storytelling appeared in those hostel days when someone would be able to  watch a movie or two and describe the same to us,the unfortunate hostellers in the room and of course,stories of imaginations stretched only to the that of the movie maker.

Storytelling was totally forgotten until I became a mother.The excitement of telling my girl stories that I heard,collected and absorbed in myself was very high.I wanted my girl to enjoy stories as much as I did and I didn't want to force her onto it.With a lot of expectations and eagerness I had bought her those colorful books with a lot of pictures and minimal words,but then she quite didn't like it or rather didn't show much of an interest.And I understood,it was me to be blamed!!.Which kid would like to read or go through books when they have immediate access to growing animations,youtube videos. ? I was saddened and felt she might almost forget to use her imagination according to her will and then create stories.I used to console myself saying,she is only 2.5 years old and with growing years her preferences will(must) change.

It was then, I got the Colgate Magical Stories hamper.I was excited that I can somehow make my girl involve in this activity.As soon as I sat with her to cut out the pieces,she asked me to throw them away.She said,"Amma,no no,this is not nice".Should I tell you,my heart sank!!Yet,I went ahead and cut them all,thinking somehow I can make her participate.Seeing me cut out pictures of  starfish, whale, puffer fish,octopus etc which she was very fond off,she came running to me and then slowly began to show some interest in the stuff.And voila,I started my storytelling episodes and she also contributed,saying "Pufferfishes comes to us with puff puff ".I was on cloud nine,totally happy.

Thank you, Colgate, for making me remind of my childhood and helping my little one show some interest towards stories from her amma :)

 

*ammama - grandma
*amma- mom

Underrated Pleasures :)

That catch of blood sucking mosquito

That timely hold of a falling cup

That final full stop at the end of a long thesis

That sweaty finish to daily workout

That compiling of the age old program

That first scoop of vanilla ice cream

That fragrance of the new book

That quick awareness of having longer hours to alarm

That moment when my baby sleeps :)

That window seat in a long journey

That bursting of bubbles in the wrapper

That small gap of time to relive your itchiness

That realization of a long weekend :)

That this list is never going to end

 

In response to the Daily Prompt "Pleasure"

Haunted...

An old blue silk saree, adorns her body
A thin gold chain around her neck
Her hands filled with red bangles
Her dark kohl filled black eyes
Dreams about her future life
Her smile,brightens the hopes
She was a beauty!
And there he stood,her saviour
Until today he was no one
But after today he is the one
Non describable was he, but his act
Will be the talk for years to come
To marry the girl,whose innocence  was robbed
And was sold as cheap old gold
Her eyes were in tears of happiness
She turned back to see her friends
Their gleaming eyes filled with hope
For a day like this might come
A release from this wretched life
A wedding so rare,thus happened !
With  blessings and well wishes
She moved on with him
A new home and hopeful new world
She took care of him and so did he
They loved each other
In a way no one else can
She was safe with him
Away from those stares and ogles
And from the haunted memories
In every moment spend with him
Only to be interrupted,
By the knocks at their door
Quoting prices for her
He , neither could she tolerate
She was reminded of her old life
As she walked the streets
The ladies and the kids
Stayed away from her
People talk and talk
Spreading  news of all kind
She could tolerate,but not him
His eyes oozed the pain
Of an unfulfilled promise
She cried,cried and cried
And then finally decided
From better or worse
She could never be with him
Her life is a simply a mirage
And returned to her old home
Where all those gloomy eyes
Absorbed her sorrow
And the realisation of their life.

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A Lifetime Memory

It been just 2 years, but you, my little daughter...you have given me a lifetime of memories already.Right from the day when showed up as two small lines in the pregnancy test results till yesterday, I have collected and stored every single moment with you.I still vividly remember this poem, which I had written about you while being pregnant,

My Angel

Overwhelmed with joy
My eyes brim with tears
When I saw my little angel

My hands tremble with fear
On touching her tender face
For  I was afraid
My roughness would hurt her

Getting her to my arms
Was a true divine moment
It was nowhere similar
To what I had always imagined

Holding her in arms
A longing dream of mine
Truly a bundle of joy
That  I had in my arms

Cute eyes and small nose
Rose lips and Soft toes
Nowhere she resembled me
As her father said…

Suddenly she twists,
Raising her closed pink fist
As though in protest
For disturbing her sleep

Rocking her back to sleep
I watched my lovely gift
And I realize that,
My life has changed forever

And, turns out you were exactly the same :).

My life changed the moment I held you in my arms.I still remember my heavy screaming during my delivery, but that was nothing close to emotional the first moment I first saw you.You, a tiny pink creature who refused to wail.I was so worried that you were not crying.Maternity Instincts :P.Though, you had already started looking at everyone trying to understand your new world.You were curious and happy.Your smile, your cries, your giggly laughs.Suddenly my world had become more colourful.

Your pink fists and your tiny feet.I simply loved to hold them forever.I still remember how much I turned motherly, even before I knew when you came into my life.I sensed danger everywhere and restricted you in many ways later realising how much a fool was I.

I don’t think that I can ever forget those trips for vaccinations.Your tiny screams and the painful nights, made me regret letting you take those injections.And how can I forget the days when you were shivering with fever.I would never have prayed so hard before.

Then the day came when I had to cut short my maternity leave to join office back.I trembled and cried, not knowing how I will survive without you.I simply ran to see you for every opportunity I have had(made).

Your first tooth to the day when you sat on your own.Your first incomprehensible word to the day you called me “amma”.Your first kiss for me to the day you danced with me.Your first song, your first tantrum, your dance in diapers, you mimicking me, you trying to converse in sentences, you being jealous when I talk to other babies.I have every single one of them in stored perfectly in my memory.

”N” you have made me the weakest and also the strongest.You made me realise that life can never be taken for granted.To almost losing you last year until now, you have showed me that grit is what it takes to swim against the waves at times of despair.

Thank you for all those wonderful memories you have given me and to many more that has to come!.Thanks for being my girl, my daughter.
To view my memories,click the link below:
https://memories.hdfclife.com/message/UEtmAUAYuQaqmc4NYpLbUg==

“Share your #MemoriesForLife like I’ve done at BlogAdda for HDFC Life.”

 

 

MJ-The Legend

Michael Joseph Jackson!

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Now,back to my story!

I never had an inclination towards music,even though my parents are avid lovers of songs and my dad is quite a good singer himself.I,on the other hand, had a kind of aversion to music.Though there are some film songs which I like,and some keertanams that I often listen to.I absolutely hated those album songs,the ear splitting rock music or the english songs.I only knew a handful artists like Britney Spears ,Celine Dion(thanks to Titanic) and then MJ.Without even listening to any of his masterpieces,I chose to dislike and ignore him.

Now,my husband is totally a divergent of me.He is a music junkie who has gone so far to get the latest of gadgets for listening to music with all its clarity and loudness.He was "flabbergasted and disgusted" to know that I have not heard his favourite musician of all time.Now,he had taken up the pledge to make me understand what I was missing in my life :P.He started driving me crazy by repeatedly playing MJ songs.All my pleas fell to his deaf ear,he never listens to me but only to MJ.At first,I was forced to listen to the legend.Then slowly  his magic worked out.At some point of time,I started to like those beats,the lyrics,the song,the mood he created and then after some days,I started to hum those songs and occasionally tap my legs.You see,I wanted to show my hubs,I still disliked him.But later on,I started to miss his energetic songs :),it was then I truly understood what I had been missing in my life,"Music"

I have this weird habit of reading up everything about anything that I am hooked up before I actually start using it.Say,if I am about to read a book,I devour  all about the author and even read the reviews of the book that I am about to read before even reading the book. :D.Before I had a chance to watch an MJ performance,I started reading all about him.I read about his start of career,his vocals,his family,his  illness,his changes,the allegations against him and mostly everything.But what I felt was that,none of this denies the very fact that he is indeed the "King of Pop"

I still remember the awe,I was in when I watched his stage performance "Michael Jackson "Billie Jean" 30th Anniversary Madison Square Garden NY" in youtube for the first time.It was unbelievable!!!.From the moment he enters the stage he conquers them.OMG...I have never seen another person do that.Only he can up his performance.Never once can we feel a drop in his energy!.He is simply Fantastico!!

Music is what had made him "King of POP".It is the music he created,that resonated with the people around him.Its his soul rendering music which have made all of us give away a piece of our hearts.Every single syllable out of his throat,shakes you,feels for you, eventually drifting you to another world.And his subtle ways of hinting against the various problems and atrocities in this world ,through his songs.His songs are all different but every single one of them has that stamp of MJ,that Navigates us to a whole new world.

Oh,I was again floored by the knowledge that all his dance moves are his own creations just like his music.And he defined the dance moves.They are always new, different,Peppy and mind boggling.And the most amazing thing,it still remains so.Always peppy!! I don't think,there is anyone this planet who would not have tried or at least heard his famous MoonWalk?

Or his gravity defying stunt! Or his robot dance..Uff!! He is always full of energy doing the thing he loves the most.Thats passion.Thats dedication.And when we do something which we love,I think we will never be tired.Ahem!!

And boy,talk about the deep Impact he has created and still creating,on the people of this world!.It is something very difficult to achieve.His "Thriller" released in 1983  is still the best selling album in the world.That is like 33 years and counting!!!.

Now he is what a true performer is,One who has the capability to touch and change lives through music.One who is original.One who is a visionary.One who is truly is a legend.

You will always be missed MJ.

 

This blog post is inspired by the blogging marathon hosted on IndiBlogger for the launch of the #Fantastico Zica from Tata Motors. You can apply for a test drive of the hatchback Zica today.

 

Images Courtesy : MJ FB Page Photo stream

Lessons from 2015

The year 2015,was a rollercoaster ride for me from being emotionally hurt to getting recovered from the tragic accident in life.Happiness got redefined in this year.And some of the most important things I have learned

• We all will be/are hurt in our life times.As the pain thus caused cannot be measured,we can only say we are hurt or may cry our hearts out.We feel as the most unluckiest person in the world.We also feel like the entire universe has conspired against us.We are bitter,angry and sad.No amount of assurance can lift us from the hell hole...but all of these happen only when we are just impacted by the pain,sooner or later,the pain would all have been gone and only a tinge of sadness occurs as a remainder of the event!!,Yes,we as humans cannot keep the pain with us,which is good!.I learned ,that indeed,time heals.


• Everything happens for a reason,even if something hurts you deeply at a point of time,it may help you put things into perspective.So there is no point in worrying or panicking,instead we must be able to pick ourselves up,dust away the unreasoning problems and find out a way to reach our destinations giving consideration to the issues.I learned that If we cannot,lift ourselves up at the time most needed,then that becomes the failure.


• Issues,problems all come and go.The so called huge pain gets reduced to a tinge of sadness when we remember them,now if we can remind ourselves of about some of the happiest moments we had in our life that tinge of happiness will brighten our day.Always try to give ourselves that deserving happiness.I learned to remember the happy days, and be grateful for them.


• Enjoy being in present,its the only thing you ever have.This present is the only thing which helps us to shape up a future we always want(ideal) and create colourful or wonderful memories.We and our loved ones are not guaranteed to be together forever,so we don't want regrets to be build.So,you want to call that old friend,call her/him now.You want to buy a nice laptop,start saving now,and buy that.I learned that being in present and hearing your lil baby call for you is the most blessed thing in life.


• One must always strive to be a better person than they were on the previous day.Eating good food,drinking more water,helping your parents ,helping siblings or your children achieve their dreams etc.I learned that the more I help myself,only then I can help others.

Thank you 2015 for being such a wonderful teacher!!

Your Feet

When I cannot look at your face 
I look at your feet. 
Your feet of arched bone, 
your hard little feet. 
I know that they support you, 
and that your sweet weight 
rises upon them. 
Your waist and your breasts, 
the doubled purple 
of your nipples, 
the sockets of your eyes 
that have just flown away, 
your wide fruit mouth, 
your red tresses, 
my little tower. 
But I love your feet 
only because they walked 
upon the earth and upon 
the wind and upon the waters, 
until they found me. 

This is yet another favourite poems by Pablo Neruda.How can any one else describe feet so beautifully ?? :)

Mambhazham

This heart wrenching poem,"Mambhzham" is one of my favourite poems.I still remember my Malayalam teacher reciting this in the class for the first time,I was in tears as soon as she finished(I'm quite emotional even now).Since then this poem had been etched in my mind.The pain of the mother on loosing her son has been so deeply sculpted into your hearts by the poet,Vyloppilli Sreedhara Menon that once you finish reading you too will feel the cool breeze!!

The poet depicts pain of a mother who lost her child to death.Her sadness is increased by the sight of fallen ripe mangoes in her backyard without being picked up by any one!