Depth

I saw my parents crying.And all I could do was lie frozen besides them.

That is when I heard someone ask something about depth,to my tired father.

He mumbled,“It was just deep enough for him to drown to death”

Family

I have no words to express my happiness and gratefulness for being born as my parents daughter,to have a wonderful and supportive brother,to have such a huge extended family full or warmth!

Yes,I admit,I have had my fair share of disagreements and ugly fights but I am forever grateful for the way my parents have shaped me up.They have taught me many things and I have learned more by observing them,the way the stick together as one and solve problems that life throws unexpectedly!

And then came along my dearest hubs “R”.It sure changed my life all together.I was eagerly waiting to put in use of all those ideas ,I learnt from my parents but I was in a surprise!Every family is unique,even if it is yours or your parents.His family also gave me subtle surprises in their own way :) and I was completely at ease with my new family!

And as soon as I gave birth to my girl,”N”,I knew at my heart that my family is now complete.Her laughter,cute faces,little queries,and a lot of happiness,have made me understood the true essence of family.

In a very critical days of pain and torture in my life,gave me the clear insight into why a strong family-hood can actually help you out of any misery!!I am forever grateful for my family

Thank you ache and amma and kuttan and ettan and my lil girl.

Delicious!

It was a big fat Indian wedding.

The decorations were marvellous,wedding dress were fabulous,3 tier cake enormous and the food delicious.It smelled so delicious,even after being dumped into the garbage bins.

Ah..there,as soon as we got hold of those bins,our party began!!

52 Weeks of Gratitude - Spouse

I am married to a wonderful person,”R”.It was an arranged marriage.To tell the truth,I was not into the whole marriage thing.I always wanted to run away..wander into some unknown place,out of my familiar and suffocating home..living from a single bag.I wanted to go deep into the wild,explore places where no one would have gone,read a lot and more.I wanted to find a nook for me in this world.

And as expected,like in most of Indian family,my parents never approved of my thoughts and choices.They wanted me to be their obedient daughter,well raised and bred for family.And then,I had my stars and signs all messed up,which added to their BP.Anyways,I was summoned to meet my now-husband “R”.The meeting lasted for more than the usual time.And discussions started from name,place thing to everything under the sun.It was clear that somewhere,he was going to be the “guy”.

To tell the truth,it was only after the marriage and then a hastily city shifting,and then a few more days of settling down I actually started to really know my hubs.We both had many similarities and even more differences.He is more a techie guy and I a book person.He hates reading,but I love it.He hates pizza,but loves oats.And for me,oats is yucky-substance!!.He is very particular about looks and checks and rechecks the dress he wants to buy,while me,I get in a shop and will be out in a jiffy as I already know what I want.He is a gym-fitness-freak,while I am 9 am-snoring person.

But amidst,all of these we did find our love blossoming.It is beyond anything you can particularly associate with.

He taught me,its okay to be myself.

He made me understand,life is how we respond to it.

He said,that our company can move mountains together

He told me crying with me,for me was foremostost the beautiful thing he has done.

He does all those things especially for me,which is more valuable than anything expensive

He tries to fulfil my dreams in a subtle way ;)

He listens when I talk.

He goes silent when in pain,which made me realise,silence hurts more than yelling

He always says,for any problem,there is a solution even if some problems always remain so..

And the list goes on...but the most important one would be the way he make me feel loved all the time!! and thats what I would have wanted in my life!!

This is for my love,my dearest “R”.

I am grateful to have him in my life!!

How I found my Golden mornings..?

Everyday,I tell myself I will get up an hour earlier and spend some quality time with myself, a few minutes for my hobbies,then few minutes to tend garden,which is facing an imminent death well before I head out to face the world..ahem..as a warrior in kitchen,packing lunch and breakfast for myself, my husband ,my parents and my lil "N"...and then avoid the rush to office.

And ,I am telling you everyday I come up with weird, funny and even horrible reasons NOT to wake up!!.As usual,everyday I get up late, I am flooded with guilt and my day has already taken the wrong direction,at least in my head which miraculously gets manifested[The Secret!! :P].and every day ends with me being tired ,gloomy and exhausted.And before I hit the bed,I again start day-dreaming about a morning free of hassles.

For months [years] together,nothing changed.I tried out every method in internet and self help books :(!!

Then one day,I decided,just like that "I am going to turn the tables all around" to find my way in making my dark mornings into very golden ones!.Voila,albeit after a few failures,I am able to make my morning shine gold.

And this is how I did it.

At first,I threw aways all those fancy ,puzzle alarm apps away.No more snoozing.That felt amazing!!.After which.I left my phone away from my sleeping area.Then I slept like a baby with my girl,until all those sleeplessness I believed I had in me , err in my head has finally left me!!.It took me couple of weeks to finally make my self believe that “Yea I have slept enough!!”

So,now here I am with all freshness,still waking up late.I decided that its finally time to pamper myself with the extra time I am going to get in morning and I decided to wake up at 6:00 am.Well,as usual it was not successful.And the reason,I was too carried away by the “extra golden hour” and I began ferociously planning every minute after I get up like doing a blog post,reading that books,doing yoga and blah blah...well,it was not a surprise that it failed!!.Waking up at 6,felt a chore again.The I had that light bulb moment …aka...I ditched the plans.And went to sleep peacefully.The next day,I woke up exactly at 5:55am,no alarms or anything.I simply opened my eyes and stared right at the clock.

Now the next part,waking up is one thing but getting out of bed is totally another thing.I did a number of things to motivate myself to simply take that few steps from my bed,which I felt was like kms away.I wavered and thought as to why I must torture myself ? I can sleep comfortably resting on my hubs,warm chest :D.My head was coming up with a lot of stuff to make myself remain in the bed.

But then after experiencing the mad rush hour,I really wanted to find some solid way to get out of the bed.It did took me a couple of days to come up after going through all those possible ways to motivate me to get up from bed I came up with this killer combo of having a hot cup of coffee as soon as I wake up.The sweet smell somehow rewired my brain to get up.The half awakened myself, start searching for my brush.Now,how can I have my coffee without brushing,there I am already heading to brush my  teeth ,just to have that coffee and with that splash of water,I am up,awake and ready to conquer my world..sipping my hot coffee :D.

Today,as soon as I have my cup of coffee,I head straight to watch the ever mesmerising golden sunrise.That fills me with gratitude,for being alive in this earth.What are the odds ??

I,now have all the time to do those little things,I always wanted to do without disturbing anyone in my family,esp my toddler.With this routine I am able to reach office on time and leave on time and also be more productive.I am also able to spend more time with my girl,who has lots to say!!And most importantly,I have found a new happy me.

Thanks to my brush and a cup of coffee,my once dark mornings have now become "Golden Mornings" 

Lessons from 2015

The year 2015,was a rollercoaster ride for me from being emotionally hurt to getting recovered from the tragic accident in life.Happiness got redefined in this year.And some of the most important things I have learned

• We all will be/are hurt in our life times.As the pain thus caused cannot be measured,we can only say we are hurt or may cry our hearts out.We feel as the most unluckiest person in the world.We also feel like the entire universe has conspired against us.We are bitter,angry and sad.No amount of assurance can lift us from the hell hole...but all of these happen only when we are just impacted by the pain,sooner or later,the pain would all have been gone and only a tinge of sadness occurs as a remainder of the event!!,Yes,we as humans cannot keep the pain with us,which is good!.I learned ,that indeed,time heals.


• Everything happens for a reason,even if something hurts you deeply at a point of time,it may help you put things into perspective.So there is no point in worrying or panicking,instead we must be able to pick ourselves up,dust away the unreasoning problems and find out a way to reach our destinations giving consideration to the issues.I learned that If we cannot,lift ourselves up at the time most needed,then that becomes the failure.


• Issues,problems all come and go.The so called huge pain gets reduced to a tinge of sadness when we remember them,now if we can remind ourselves of about some of the happiest moments we had in our life that tinge of happiness will brighten our day.Always try to give ourselves that deserving happiness.I learned to remember the happy days, and be grateful for them.


• Enjoy being in present,its the only thing you ever have.This present is the only thing which helps us to shape up a future we always want(ideal) and create colourful or wonderful memories.We and our loved ones are not guaranteed to be together forever,so we don't want regrets to be build.So,you want to call that old friend,call her/him now.You want to buy a nice laptop,start saving now,and buy that.I learned that being in present and hearing your lil baby call for you is the most blessed thing in life.


• One must always strive to be a better person than they were on the previous day.Eating good food,drinking more water,helping your parents ,helping siblings or your children achieve their dreams etc.I learned that the more I help myself,only then I can help others.

Thank you 2015 for being such a wonderful teacher!!

Gratitude Challenge

http://localadventurer.com/52-weeks-of-gratitude-challenge-complete/

Why start this challenge ?

Now the answer for this question is related to how the year 2015 was for me.To tell the truth,2015 was the hardest year of my life.

The pain,I had to undergo was excruciating.I never knew,I had it in me to accept this pain and then overcome the same.But,this pain showed me how strong I am,in so many different ways.I discovered a part of me,which I never knew had existed.

And I realised amidst of all of these troubles and pain,one can always find a silver lining of hope,of a better tomorrow.But,towards the year end,I somehow understood that the pain made me suffer it was a boon in disguise.That made me extremely grateful..I am grateful to be able to undergo the pain,and find my way out through it but by being grateful for the same pain.

Thus,I felt the need to dedicate this year, for gratitude :)