The Life!

Once upon a time there lived a little girl,happily talking to herself,playing with colors,doing things that made her happy.As time flew by,she went to school that supposedly help her pave a way in this world.In order to stay at the top of the race amongst her friends,she was molded into someone else.The essence of “her” started mixing up with what she must become as sought by the world lead to new definitions ,dreams and desires in her life about what she would become in “future”,those places she will travel “alone”,how life would sprout beyond the daily scenes.

And then came the rebel days.Then the remorse days.Then the whining and cribbing days.Then the depressional days.Every single event made a deep impression upon her life,molding and modifying her thoughts about her life, society and family.The thoughts and dreams she had about life remained that way.She became so hard to even think about a possibility of life beyond her routines.The world around her changed,miles ahead but she is stuck,some place reminding herself of what she could have been,what she could have done to change the world.She has grown into a beautiful lady,fulfilling desires of her family,working as society expected,but inside,she is hurt,fearful,bolted up with emotions.She knows this way of life is not what she wanted,but still she is powerless!!

No,I never thought I will be doing what I am doing right now.Not even in my wildest dreams,coz I never really knew what I wanted to do with my life.I am just a follower,following those who walked before me,following some age-old instructions,following into some unknown outcomes of life.Never once did I knew or realize that I can move a muscle to make a change and figure out what I want in my life,with my life.Only today did I realize the true meaning of this quote ““Someone once told me the definition of Hell: The last day you have on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become.” Anonymous .And that is because of I feel a twitch in my heart or a knot in my stomach which constantly reminds me that something is not right,that I am living a life handcrafted for someone else!!

In response to the prompt from #FridayReflections  - “Did you think you'd be doing what you're currently doing in life? Write a personal essay.” 

The Tree

The roots, strong and grounded

The branches, spreads a warm welcome

The million leaves, green and brittle

The trunk,mighty in the face of storm

The twigs,but bow humbly to the breeze

The huge home, to a few hundreds

Forcing but none to stay

Takes the trash and gives us life

Harming none on the on the way

And yet we, the "humans" destroy

"The Tree"

 

In response with the Daily Prompt : "Tree"

Picture Courtsey : Google

Note : Edited :)

 

 

 

 

October Days!!

Where did all the time go ?? Seriously,it's October,that's like the last leg of 2016 race!!And what a month was September? The month of busy bees "Onam".

• So a lot of shopping,prepping,eating and holidaying :).Took almost 10 days of off and still could not fulfill onam like never before


• And my grandfather turned 85!!.That was the most happening thing.Everyone in the family,the neighborhood came together and had a blast on his birthday.That was awesome :).I still can picture my ear-to-ear grinning toothless Achachan,when we cut his first birthday cake :)

Ah and now October is here...lets see how it unfolds!!

 

 

Monday Blues - Character

Check this out https://www.brainpickings.org/2012/05/21/joan-didion-on-self-respect/

 

Silence

"Even the loud waves crashing on the shore could not yet beat the deafening silence she left behind."

Note: Somehow for me, the above sentence feels complete!

 

In response to the Daily Prompts : Silence

Monday Blues - Struggle

You go, girl!!  "Believe that there is that something inside you that helps you out of any trouble, someone who miraculously brings to you solutions to your problems and help you find your way.All you now need is to take a deep breath and continue doing things with the new found confidence that somehow things will all come together and will result in something so beautiful or something about which you might not have thought about"

Picture courtesy : Pinterest

Train Memories

It's been ages since I had travelled in a train,almost close to 2 years now.Once an integral part of my life, I almost lost the touch of "train travel".

When I was first posted to Chennai as a Software Engineer,I remember the first time I had to travel alone on a train.My first journey in "Chennai Local".I had made plans for this grand day for some time then as travelling by buses was a pain.But then,I struggled to get a ticket after standing in a queue for about half n hour at Tambaram station and missed the train which I was supposed to get.And while boarding the next one which was jam packed,I vowed to myself never to catch the local again.

But then I had to give it a chance once more.I bought a season ticket to avoid the long queues.I then observed and learned on train travel ettiquetes.I understood how to get into the train for starters, which part of ladies compartment will people be less occupied as in I might be able to stand,when to start from the "seat to door " as you arrive at your station,how to stand near the doors,how to take minimal space to occupy a seat,how to observe people without them knowing,how to tie the shawl with only eyes popping outside,how to buy those small samosas and what not.Except for the "begging" part especially by children,everything about train journeys became awesome!!

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Once we friends decided to go to a far away mall.But we could not and chose not to buy the tickets,just for the experience.Luckily the TTE caught us and made us pay a hefty fine which just put a hole in my monthly budget!!

The scariest yet memorable incident was like this.I was working late and the last train from Parannur was around 8:30.I didn't know that at that time the station and the train would be so deserted.Anyways,I didn't have a choice and I simply occupied a seat where there were other ladies.The train chugged for a few minutes but then came to a sudden halt.We started hearing loud noises and spark of lights and when tried to locate the source, we found that the electric connectivity between the train and the trasmission wires were in fire.It was a kind of Diwali :).Suddenly every one started screaming and started jumping off the compartment and ran.I too wanted to jump but only then it dawned on me that I am not at a platform.The trains were very tall and with no other way,I jumped  into the stone gravel.But now the next station to both ways was almost equal distance.It was very late and I didnt know what to do ? Meanwhile, my parents called me if I had reached,did I have dinner and the usual stuff.Though I was afraid and wanted to yell,somehow I managed to lock things in my heart.I had already started following the crowd,walked half a km climbed through thorny bushes and prickly stubs of shrubs and some how reached the highway.Walked a further more,took a bus to my home.I was shocked and shivering but I was happy that some how I faced the situtation without damages.That was the last time I travelled in a local train at night!!

Well the long distance train joureys were also fun.One time I almost witnessed two people having $ex .It was like the scene in movie "Enemey at the Gates".I had occupied the lower side berth and from where I lie,I could see the upper berth.Now,In the middle of night,I woke up just like that and to my surprise couild see something but could not register what I was seeing.Welll,when I was conscious enough to understand what I was seeing,I didnt know what to do.I wanted to watch,but also not watch.I felt thristy but could not move my hand to lift the bottle and drink.Well,I simply slept again :).And the next morning,all I could do was grin ear to ear when I saw them sitting opposite to each other without even looking.

Another time I saw a couple waving good byes to each other in a way I guess only they could say.And one time I became friends with this elderly couple who were going to visit their only son and his family who was working in my hometown while I was travelling to my home from theirs.It seemed that their son didn't have time to go home for the holidays.I could send the anger and the sadness that parents carried with them on not being able to spend time with their only son.I hope that one day their son realizes what he was doing! Sigh! Another one time,I slept off and didnt even knew that the train had reached its destination.It was a RPF officer who saw me happily sleeping and woke me up.He asked for the ticket and other stuff.Luckily the last stop was my hometown.It was a surprise visit to my home and no one was there to pick me up,else I would have got an earful about how careless I am.

And so many adventures and memories came to me as I had to travel in train,alone for past few days :)

 

 

Monday Blues - Fear Not :)

Perfectly sums up all my fears :P.And yeah,I can really see how it can end as well!! :)

Pic Courtsey : Pinterest.

Night

My mum left for her night shift,though I really begged her not to go.
It's the third night in a row.

I shivered at the thought of spending it with my dad, alone...
In response to the Daily Prompt "Shiver"

Note:Inspired by an answer in Quora

Fear

I fear,
The whispers of peers
The coughs of strangers
I fear,
The loneliness in the crowd
And the suffocation in familiarity
I fear,
The ambitions and dreams I have
Not that I won't achieve,but what If I achieve​ them ?
I fear,
I die without a legacy
I might never try t build one!
I fear,
I am brittle and is crushed by loved ones
But I know,I am strong enough to face a storm
I fear,
I knowingly choose the path
Though I knew,I wanted to go the less travelled one
I fear,
I die without a reason
I live every day,dying inside

 

I am not sure what I fear about! I know deep inside​ of me that I am capable of chasing and achieving my dreams and aspirations but the fear of moving and achieving is killing me.It hurts!! I ignore all those that things that maketh me.I ignore those feelings that scream to me and say,come one with me.
I choose to ignore and search for something which I know does not exists!

Monday Blues !

Promise

A promise to never to be anxious about my future and sad about my past.

A promise to realize that I too can win hearts and accolades

A promise to never to subdue my needs and wishes

A promise to never heed an ear to others who say,I can't

A promise to finally listen to my spirit,that leads my way

A promise to my child to help her find her way and not walk on it

A promise to my loved one to never be a wall on their way to their dreams

A promise to myself to not ignore my strength,you see I am no longer that elephant tied with mere rope to the tree :)

 

Note : This prompt had really made me sit and think about the fake promises I keep telling myself and never fulfilling them.I always  end up dejected and never really have the strength to keep going.Today is a new day and I promise to keep it that way!

 

Day 7 of 

Wishful Thinking

Hopefully,I will be able to post something or the other before the time's up for today's  yesterday's prompts :)

Note : A daughter's urges are more important than my urge to write it out :)

Day 6 of 

 

 

Book Review : The Story of A Suicide

The Story of a Suicide indeed illustrates the circumstances of how an individual decides why he no longer wants to live in this beautiful world.I am totally against suicide,yes even in cases where a person has no longer a life,we proclaim fit to proceed.I believe we are one of a kind and the mere fact that we are alive and thinking,must help us overcome the thoughts of being dead.I feel that half the courage one has in oneself  to be able to choose death willingly is more than enough for him to face the world and live a life ahead.

And the real reason,I believe that one becomes forced to choose death over life is the weight of the burden of expectations that hangs as dagger above us.Only if we are able to break free the expectations set upon us,will we be able to rise and make a mark.If we are born poor,our society deems us unfit to be a part of it and taunt us.Even if get the right education,if our social status is different that their "superior" ones we get insulted.It's a truth that this sort of expectation kills,especially in our social set up.The ranks,marks,relationships, everything matters to parents.Their entire future is closely aligned to their children’s.So if the child deviates a little bit from their path of dreams aka expectations and if there is an emotional background to it,it's better to be dead that be alive and being taunted for their rest of lives.

Being said that this web-novel narrates the story of four people Hari,Charu,Sam and Mani and how fate had intervened in their actions that each one becomes a responsibility to the death of the protagonist,Hari.It was a final destination of how the entire chapters were set up for the final showdown.The characters are well thought of and important taboo topics of child sex abuse, homosexuality, love, betrayal, expectations, cyber crime, sex, passion are well described,connected and illustrated.

The crux of the story,I felt was the failure of expectations.Sam believes Charu is in love with him and when he finds out it never was the way he had expected,he sets out for revenge.He sets up Charu and stalks her,that she decides to catch hold of him while in the act. A twist in the tale makes the trap set up for Charu ends with the life of Hari.Hari is forced to take the decision of death,due to the burden of expectations his parents,his social status and the expectations he had in his partner.He expects to find solace in his partner,Mani but Mani's actions had his relive his most traumatized part of a life of his robbed childhood.And Mani,he expects Hari to understand his acts as his love,but Hari could not tolerate the same.

We need to be aware that times are changing so fast that our outlook towards life also needs to be changed.The social status or facebook status is no longer important but the life status, on finding what you are meant to give this world and how you can do it must be one's aim.Parents should help and guide children to find their passion and support them for what they need to win their life.No matter what  circumstances are parents must spend time with their children,make them feel comfortable in sharing their thoughts and struggles.

Child sex abuse is very prevalent in any society and we all need to stand up against it.Status shows that mostly it is our family members whom we think we can trust, takes the chance to exploit the innocent kids.We must never turn away from what a child has to say and we must always support and help our child,cause these scars run deep and in turn changes their personality.By staying with them,helping them heal we can also forgive oneself.There are more ways of healing than ever before and I urge everyone to make use of it,rather than staying within themselves and being afraid of taboos.The website itself tells us more ways on how can one find a way out,it just a matter of reaching out.

Maybe I am too old for today's youngster's modus of Operandi in achieving instant likes,twitter shaming ,being bold by stating tales of vagina and penises.This novel also told me how I must help my child to channelize his talent to the welfare of another person.I as a parent must know that I can help my child build his world without comparisons,without hate but with compassion and love.It made me realize how the entire thing is relevant only in my head and not anywhere else!!

One of my quickest,deepest read of this year,this web-novel shows that we can easily mess up with a life.It is very easy to go into depression and thoughts of being insignificant emergences.It is a brutal truth of society we live in today.The tale ends with a death,not the sugar coated , the happy ending which we normally crave.The highlight of the web-novel is the illustrations.They were commendable and very apt to the chapters.It felt like Namboodiri's drawings. :)

Note : The entire team of The Story of Suicide,deserves a round of applause as I have never seen such a kind of amalgamation of gems in setting up of a story.Usually, when I read a book,I glance through the Thank you page and the names go into oblivion,but not in this case.Kudos to each one of you.

 

First Gift :)

A pair of "Tiny Shoes" were our first gift for our lil "N".We were forbidden by our families to buy anything before our baby was born,but I could not resist myself from not buying this pair of cuties for my child.And I know, I will forever cherish the moments I spend staring at the booties and how I would gently make her wear them :).

Well,my girl completely and utterly refused to wear them for what so ever reason,only know to her! That made me realize,she would never need my fashion advice :P

 

Day 5 of 

 

A Forensic Doctor

"Caught Redhanded" read the headlines.It reported the capture of a sexual predator while in a horrendous act of molestation.He also  pleaded guilty to several such acts in and around the area.

My thoughts wandered to the day,I had to forcibly open a pair of red hands,smeared in blood,pleading for a release.

I am a forensic doctor.

Day 4 of 

Fragile

A beautiful memory was sealed with a twinkle in your eyes and a "Yes",of that day,when I took your hand and declared my love.

A beautiful memory was sealed with a tear in your eyes of that day when we had our baby.

A beautiful memory was sealed with pride in your eyes of that day when we built our home.

We built so many moments and memories to share for a lifetime.

But,today,after so many years of togetherness,it breaks my heart to look into your empty eyes eroded off the moments we spent together.

Yet,I realize that maybe tomorrow there is a hope of blooms filling with the fragrance of our time together.

Memories are so frail,their essence is lost if we have none to share in our fragile lives...

 

Day 3 of 

A Dream Vacation

What could be more exciting than being a carefree traveller who has access and means to travel all across the world,experience different cultures,cuisines and wonderful people.The mere mention of "travel" fills up my memory with days of summer vacations at my mom's place.That was the first of my travel adventures.Our home,chilly old town deep inside a forest is very near to Munnar.

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Though the charisma of mountains,forests and rivers are fading out,still the nostalgia holds it together as a grant picture.Travelling to my hometown means a lot of things.

Our home is surrounded by mountains on all sides.We have a small creek flowing through our land and reaches a river.Early mornings are mysteriously beautiful!We can actually wait to see the mist clearing and the mountains dawn before us while the sun rises!! And I wonder how many places can offer us such a sunrise in this world.Everywhere in this world,the sunrise is one majestic piece of Art,and the mere sight is itself fill us with a sense of belonging.I have felt this when I saw the sunrise at Kanyakumari or at Kanjenjunka :).

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Nothing beats the taste of the authentic flavours of my grandmom.Even if it is a simple pickle,her hand does the magic that not even my amma can replicate.When I was pregnant with my daughter I craved for her food,that's my Grandmom's magic food.I believe while we travel we must try out variety of food which is locally available.This really helps us understand the authentic taste of the food of that place.I feel,the authenticity loses its shine if prepared outside that particular area.When I was in Chennai,the small idlis in a bucket load of sambhar with a whole spoon of ghee...Yum...Sadly,nothing I did at home,could replicate the original taste.So there,food also adds to the experience of travelling.

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Being so near to Thekaddy Wildlife Sanctuary and Munnar,our place amidst the forest does have visits from wildlife.I have been in awe seeing the variety of monkeys,wild snakes,wild pigs,endangered species of ant eaters near by our home.And I have learned a lot from these encounters and it has also helped in gaining knowledge about the flora and fauna of my area.I still rememeber,how this had helped me with my science projects.This also reminds me about the fishes and corals I saw when I had gone snorkelling at the Andaman Islands.

We can all be tourists,but a few can be travelers who can actually get deep into the culture,learn them,understand them,be a part of them.It takes time,patience and caliber to be a traveller.These people have profound effects of travelling in their life.They are the ones who wonder,what the next destination has to offer them ?  They are travellers of lifetime :)

I am blogging about my dreams and passions for the Club Mahindra#DreamTrails activity at BlogAdda. You can get a Club Mahindra Membership to own your holidays!

Thanks Google for the lovely pics :)

Do you really know?!

The white lilies
or silver cups of poison ?

Yellow dreamy sunflowers
or a little sun in every single flower ?

The lovely fairy tailed fishes
or our lives just before we are born ?

An old withered and a sprawling tree
or a lonely person simply waiting for a friend ?

Deep intriguing starry night sky
or a picture printed by our firing neurons ?

A tip of an iceberg
or the deck of an underground empire ?

A gushy cold wind on face
or the breath of an unreturned soul ?

A streak of sunlight admist the rain
or a hug of mother consoling her son ?

A hue of paint on an canvas
or the mind of wandering persona ?

An angry conversation with a loved one
or sadness due to inability of ones self ?

A pale blue dot.
or one among the pale dots in the entire universe ?

Are you living your life in a dream ?
or are you living your own dream ?

Tell me do you really know,
what you don't know ?

Day 2 of 

August,you are here already ?

It's a new month already and it quite didn't register in my mind.July went so fast or so I felt.There were no rains at our place,It did make me sad!.

• July was a month of coughs,fever,sickness,curled up in beds,lots of snuggling.In a way,I enjoyed the time with my girl and myself.Just wished that the sickness would go away.


• We went for a short trip to "Thenmala",an eco -tourist spot just outside the city.It was really superb.A lot of walking among dinosaurs infected woods.A blog post is a must to relive the time again.


• I lost two of my phones,sigh!! And that had put a full stop to most of my online activities in July.But,I ordered 2 phones as well :).They will be arriving soon!


• And my mind was kind of wandering like a ship amidst the storm with no sight of land.And I must say,I have still not calmed down.The turmoil is deep etched into my heart.I hope,I will know what to do!

So,there a sneak peak on my July.August,please be nice!!

Monday Blues!

We all know what we want to be in our life.We all know what we need to do to make our life.We all know what we must give up to life our life to that point where nothing matters.

But, Yet!

We all fail to simply put one foot after other and move ourself,not to the final destination of our life all at once,but to even to make that one small first step before miles to go.

Why are we like this ? What is that magic to make life happen ?Or does that magic even exists ?

Well, people like Emelia,did find that magic.So what if you have died,you have left behind a legacy that grows beyond the tragedy of life.Even at times,life or its destination fails!!

 

 

Born Again ?

A dark cave,in the middle of nowhere
And I don't remember how I came here ?
It's filthy,dungeon and smells like pee
And I wonder how long before I see
The wonderful,horizon beyond the sea
Huddled in despair of unknown
I was crying, but my tears, bygone
It felt like flying among stars with no breath
It felt like a rainbow of thousand colors
It felt like tiny snowflakes in summer
It felt like a weird connection between life and death
I felt in me,the emotions,I never knew
And then,I dropped under my weight
A touch,a snob,a tear or two and the smell
A familiarity loomed somewhere in there
So did light from a thousand moon's
As I glanced the moon,I saw a door
Hoping for an exit from this nightmare,I rose
But an urge to look back took me for a surprise
An entirety of my life flashed in seconds of time
As the cave lighted up my memories,
like the jellyfishes of a calm sea
I realized,I am more alive than ever before
Sure,I am ready for my next adventure
To make new life from being dead...

Sometimes,death is stranger than fiction :)

Story Time!!

I used to wait for my summer vacations,just like every other kid in the town.I will be traveling to my mama's home.A place so far away from cities and deep in the forest.And there,my grandma will be waiting for all us,me ,my brother,our cousins .It was the big-fat-get-together.It was a kind of ritual , late in the evening, after we light our lamps,we all kids sat around our dear"ammama" while she recites the stories of Mighty Kings,their wars with cruel Rakshasas.The wild chases,war,divine interventions from Gods and finally the always happy endings.The tales of her wild imagination combined with the mythical stories .Some tales took days to complete as they had sub-stories.I used to remember every single word she used to say,every single emotion she used to explain the situations.And then,after vacations,I used to tell these stories without any loss of expression to all my friends at school and in my colony.That part of a storyteller in me, made me a star among all my friends.

Then,"TV" came to our ancestral home and the story telling became a thing of past as vivid cartoons replaced my grandma's stories.Even she became more interested in those stupid-never-ending serials.And eventually,the art of storytelling was lost as we all grew up.

Some form of storytelling appeared in those hostel days when someone would be able to  watch a movie or two and describe the same to us,the unfortunate hostellers in the room and of course,stories of imaginations stretched only to the that of the movie maker.

Storytelling was totally forgotten until I became a mother.The excitement of telling my girl stories that I heard,collected and absorbed in myself was very high.I wanted my girl to enjoy stories as much as I did and I didn't want to force her onto it.With a lot of expectations and eagerness I had bought her those colorful books with a lot of pictures and minimal words,but then she quite didn't like it or rather didn't show much of an interest.And I understood,it was me to be blamed!!.Which kid would like to read or go through books when they have immediate access to growing animations,youtube videos. ? I was saddened and felt she might almost forget to use her imagination according to her will and then create stories.I used to console myself saying,she is only 2.5 years old and with growing years her preferences will(must) change.

It was then, I got the Colgate Magical Stories hamper.I was excited that I can somehow make my girl involve in this activity.As soon as I sat with her to cut out the pieces,she asked me to throw them away.She said,"Amma,no no,this is not nice".Should I tell you,my heart sank!!Yet,I went ahead and cut them all,thinking somehow I can make her participate.Seeing me cut out pictures of  starfish, whale, puffer fish,octopus etc which she was very fond off,she came running to me and then slowly began to show some interest in the stuff.And voila,I started my storytelling episodes and she also contributed,saying "Pufferfishes comes to us with puff puff ".I was on cloud nine,totally happy.

Thank you, Colgate, for making me remind of my childhood and helping my little one show some interest towards stories from her amma :)

 

*ammama - grandma
*amma- mom

Burn

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That piece of desire,
Deep in my soul

Just needs a fire
To turn into gold

I,thus tell myself
Burn, Burn, and Burn!!

 

 

 

 

 

In response to Daily Prompts : Burn

Underrated Pleasures :)

That catch of blood sucking mosquito

That timely hold of a falling cup

That final full stop at the end of a long thesis

That sweaty finish to daily workout

That compiling of the age old program

That first scoop of vanilla ice cream

That fragrance of the new book

That quick awareness of having longer hours to alarm

That moment when my baby sleeps :)

That window seat in a long journey

That bursting of bubbles in the wrapper

That small gap of time to relive your itchiness

That realization of a long weekend :)

That this list is never going to end

 

In response to the Daily Prompt "Pleasure"

Monday Blues!!

A Tale of Growth!!

"Growth",a very special term in a parent's dictionary, especially if they are new to nuisances of parenthood.I am one such parent who has the faintest idea about what to expect next in the life ?! Right from the day my girl was born, I always wanted to make sure she grows into a strong girl,immune to common diseases and always be active,to the extent that I become tired of answering her queries :)

I was happy that "N" used to have her food without much trouble.As long as she is full,she was happy and playing.Then the terrible-twos came by and my girl, "N" has become this stubborn lady who simply shouts "NO" to every kind of food we try to feed her with.I tried everything from rice-dal mixes to vegetable soups to fruit juices to milk to fish.I had exhausted every item in my list trying to feed her.Adding woes of being a working mother,I literally cried trying to make her eat anything at all.!! The lack of proper and nutritious food she became much more prone to common diseases like cold and fever which made our evening plans rather easier.Instead of going to a park to play,we started frequenting the medical clinics.And those medicines have made her appetite fly away into the clouds.

Sigh!

Not having any idea about what to do the next ,I on a whim bought Horlicks Growth +.I knew she would definitely say a big "NO" ,thus I gave a small spoonful of the same.You guessed it right,"N" spat it all out! Being a mother,your kid teaches you everything about being patient.I tried to give her a spoonful of the same next day.And after a couple of days, she came in and asked for a spoonful of "black Horlicks",in her cute little voice when I forgot about the same.She finally liked it.Slowly I tried to mix it up with milk and was able to feed her the same somehow!![No words to explain the process here].Anyways,the trick worked.Mama happy,Baby happy.She even named it as "Black Horlicks".Kids,I tell you!! Though I was apprehensive to give my girl anything which might sound artificial,I was more than happy that I could find something that can eventually make a way to her tummy and supplement her with the lost nutrients.I have seen that my girl has visibly become less tired and irritated.She now gets enthusiastically involved in various activities at her playschool.She learns,understands and try out new things at home as well.She also sleeps well and grown back to my old happy child :)

I already knew that steady and proper growth at the right time is a very crucial to the overall development of a child.A good plate of healthy and nutritious food in the early days of childhood helps kids grow into the later stage of life without any major lifestyle / health issues.But the most overwhelming task is in making kids eat the nutritious food which aid in their growth.The least we can do is to provide supplements as in the form of health drinks to the kids who refuse to eat a morsel of food in any other way.

https://cdn.indiblogger.in/v3/images/happyhours/horlicks1/brandcover.jpg

And Horlicks Growth + is very much recommended product,right from my experience!

Cloud Art

I always had this thought,

" Clouds must be a very vast canvas of that strange artist who has got such talent to simply mould them into spectacular pieces of art.When the colours, hues from sunlight,water drops,ions in the sky are incorporated into them,Master pieces are born!!

And we are simply bound to be spell bounded by thou art! "

In response to Daily Prompt "Clouds"

Bye Bye June...

Its another end-of-month and it also marks half of the year,2016.Its six moths,puff....I have no idea where did all the time,the months have gone by ?

• June is very special.Since I already mentioned this.June marks the day which I will never forget in my entire life.It has changed my entire life.This day has helped me value things more deeply,helped me become more grateful about my life and also it made me realize time is indeed a healer to some extent.It helps you put things into perspective that you might never have thought of.


• June also marks the first day of my lil girl play school.She is all grownup and is quite happy to go to school,much like me.And I love to hear all about her naughtiness when she is there :).Love you 'N' !!


• And with June,the most amazing monsoon rains has arrived.And the first day is always like in the book "Chasing the Monsoons" :).Speaking of which,I was able to quickly read through the 4-book-a-month-Goodreads challenge,but the reviews of the same are pending here at the blog.

Yeah I know a lot of things have been pending here at my nook,well I promise to bring a change to them :)

July,Bring it On...!!

Monday Blues!!

Being comfortable in your world is something,which we all yearn for.If that good day,could become every other day,we become so happy.But then being at the same place for so long that we cease to see ourselves elsewhere.That is difficult.Seeing the whole of your future mapped makes us feel bad instead of happy.Well at least for me.It offers no room for improvement.The same old routines make life, well lifeless.We become so engrossed in building the life, which feels alien to us and after a certain period of time we feel weak to be even able to take a decision to step away from your comfort zone!

Certainly stuck in this place and now,even taking the smallest decision to find something that interests me is so very difficult.Someone has quoted my mental state so accurately!

This quote is so profound!

Ah..that word...

I have a million of things to write about and about hundreds of them make to my drafts.And I post only a handful of them.

Does that show I don't value what I write ? Do I feel my words are not worthy of an audience? Why do I keep on mercilessly edit and reframe the sentences ? Why can't I just write down all that passes through my head,shoulders,knees and toes ?

Well, some will read the entire thing while some will simply scan.Some may even comment.I always have this fear of not being able to write up to a standard I have set for myself.Sometimes,I even feel so very drained out after replying to a comment.Does that show my need for perfect pieces ? My head says "Naah..you are just being paranoid" and my heart says.. it is because I am too attached to the writing and I want to excel in it! But the more I try to hold myself, I feel like I might loose the interest to make wordy things in my world!

And then one day might come,when I will no longer be able to write anything! Ah..the perfect word that summons my thoughts : "Writer Block"

Those words,
Emotionally wrecking
Deepening wounds
Inflicting mind
Some are burned
Some are crude
It's stuck,somewhere
And everywhere
In my heart ?
Or In my gut ?
And I try hard
To force them out
Nothing,but
A bundle of words,
Falls right in here...

 

Its a Happiest Day!!

Today,Is THE Happiest day in my life.I cannot think of any other day I have been this happiest!

A whole year,since this...Its's true that life does give us lemons,but it is for us to make lemonades!! :)

 

Monday Blues!!

 

A beautiful quote that perfectly summarizes living a life :).Reminded me of Walter Mitty !!

Connected

It was my stupidity to suck in that gush of filthy air into my lungs.It made me very sick.I have been now warned never to disconnect from my air filter device, if I needed to breathe ever again !!

Note : A  reality(?) in many years to come ! :|

In response to the Daily Prompt : Connected

An Epiphany..!.

Unbearable is the pain,
when you simply walk away
I stand here all alone...
yearning for you to come back
But I know you are now, just,
a beautiful piece of memory
I wish I had never met you,
only to build memories
The ones that can never,
ever be thought without crushing pain
As I realize you have gone too far,
I understand,I have nothing to hold on
Neither your shoulder to lean on,
nor your hands to hide my tears
I lost my life, virtues, and thoughts,
just to gain some moments very deep
I cherish them with you ,but
its remembrance now is but a heartache
Alone while standing in the rain,I shed,
the tears of my pain
I try to reason, in my head, Why me ?
and search for an unknown answer
While all the time I knew, at my heart
some things are just bound to be...

Note : A heartbreak!

Monday Blues !

Some quotes like these help us find that perspective to life which we are failing to see !

A status!

I am quite sad.To say the truth,I am very depressed.A lot of expectations and dreams have come crashing down.And I am unable to find a way out of it.I hoped for a better year for us a  family since the new year,but somehow the happy formula always eludes us.There is always something to worry about or being sad.Sometimes its "N" illness and at other times, it's my work.

I have always been a hard worker in my life.Not a smart one.The hard one.A resilient one.I have toiled enormous amounts of hours reading,understanding subjects and writing exams which I clear.Yes of course with flying colors.But the losses were more.And the margin of loss was so very small.That hurt me the most.I lost an opportunity to study my favorite subject for graduation and ended up taking the most hated one! I lost opportunity to clear the most prestigious exam in the coutry just by 5 marks!! I ended up in a mediocre company with virtually non growing salary but a job nonetheless.I have kind of lost hope and I know I have settled for less,very less than what I dreamed of.Yet,I hoped for a better life once I settled with my family,but somehow the happy formula always eludes us.There is always something to worry about or being sad.Sometimes its "N" illness and at other times, it's my work.

I will eventually find out something but I am worried I am running out of time.I feel I will become obsolete.Though I had no control over the happening of any one of these life problems and sadness that has afflicted me and my life,I still feel helpless.And I am at times mad at myself for not taking action on things which  could have steered my life in a different direction.I simply ignored those decisions which would have actually made a difference.I think being comfortable was the culprit there.It is the most important silent killer of all aspirations and dreams I had in life.

Sigh! A friend of mine once told me I am resilient.And I know its one of the essential characters needed in life.But I think "grit" is more essential.Most needed one,I hope to take charge of my life and toil, even more, harder.Yes,years have flown by.But I still have promises to keep to myself.

 

The spicy curry!

Uff! my arse...

Why God ?

When my Indian girlfriend lovingly asked me not to indulge in the spicy curry bought for her,why did I get offended ?

Why did I have to choose the curry rather than oblige a simple “No”.

Sigh!

 

Joy

Searching for a beautiful word...

To pour my hearts out for this

I, but only found Joy

 

Note : I am Jubliant :).Finally something with letter

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My Inglenook...

An intoxicating smell of your memories
Flooded me,as I step into our room
Opening the door, engaged me
With that suffocating fragrance of you

The wedding picture on the table
The night lamp on the shelf
The small nook behind the door
The wide open windows with shuffling curtains
Made me smile with magical thoughts

Neatly folded bed linen,and the pillows
Reminded me of the days and the nights
Of the discussions,Of the future,
Of the decisions,Of the love :)
We made together,in our room

A smile,A touch,A hug,A kiss
Is all that I badly need from you
And its all that I received in plenty
As I stood there in our room...

Note : Our room,sans my love and a load of his memories :)
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Haunted...

An old blue silk saree, adorns her body
A thin gold chain around her neck
Her hands filled with red bangles
Her dark kohl filled black eyes
Dreams about her future life
Her smile,brightens the hopes
She was a beauty!
And there he stood,her saviour
Until today he was no one
But after today he is the one
Non describable was he, but his act
Will be the talk for years to come
To marry the girl,whose innocence  was robbed
And was sold as cheap old gold
Her eyes were in tears of happiness
She turned back to see her friends
Their gleaming eyes filled with hope
For a day like this might come
A release from this wretched life
A wedding so rare,thus happened !
With  blessings and well wishes
She moved on with him
A new home and hopeful new world
She took care of him and so did he
They loved each other
In a way no one else can
She was safe with him
Away from those stares and ogles
And from the haunted memories
In every moment spend with him
Only to be interrupted,
By the knocks at their door
Quoting prices for her
He , neither could she tolerate
She was reminded of her old life
As she walked the streets
The ladies and the kids
Stayed away from her
People talk and talk
Spreading  news of all kind
She could tolerate,but not him
His eyes oozed the pain
Of an unfulfilled promise
She cried,cried and cried
And then finally decided
From better or worse
She could never be with him
Her life is a simply a mirage
And returned to her old home
Where all those gloomy eyes
Absorbed her sorrow
And the realisation of their life.

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The Golgotha...

It is just another day,
  After years we meet
I am at your door step
And I bought Daisies
The ones that hide love
As I hand it over to you
I know,you smirk,as always

It is just another day,
  After years we meet
Cloudy with a hue of rain
I sit and you lie down
Under the old and crimp maple tree
As I chatter about the dreams and desires
I know,you laugh mockingly, as always

It is just another day,
  After years we meet
The wind picks up its pace
Orange maple leaves and raindrops
Descend in abundance to the earth
As I take in the intoxicating fragrance of mud
I know,you look at me curiously, as always

It is just another day,
  After years we meet
As the rain stops and winds drop
I can see,the washed away rose petals
Dripping daisies and Departing dreams

Memories, are all that remains of you
Enclosed with me in laughter and tears
For all these years
I know,you are telling me, to leave
But,Its a promise,
I still will come again
Not only for you,but also for me…

Note : This one is an old poem I had written but using it now,so that I can keep up with the challenge :).

 

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Flagrant...

"Darker night, darker the alley

I wish I had died the day

When they took my soul..."

 

Note : My first attempt at a Haiku and I am not sure,if this can be considered as one :)

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOeRKBJ91q6PmjP54gwJKWkojCcZXxonkBAX0Ag8br7-jUAjXxUz-AGOJPOP2thUZ-XDSC8EqPQeZgJ5YFLf8pJDc-ny-XoqZMv_xw3clYH2-TKCE8RagU0qnez61vARMcfJd8BM52e1dV/s1600/F.jpg

 

Ephemeral

I was born very late in the night.

Dawn,to be precise.Nothing but only the tender moonlight,sprayed upon.I have finally reached my destination.This,the birth was overwhelming.I was scared and sad.And then I began my waiting...,to die.Well,that was my purpose.I was born to die.

I felt,I might not even live until the sun rose. My death which was certain and I even knew how I would die.I would simply dry up or burst open.But sometimes,even a light breeze can kill me,if I am not careful.

Once I settled,I noticed my surroundings.The dimly lit landscape,with rays of sun slowly seeping in.The beautiful sky which was being nudged by the sun rays to wake up,spreading its orange hues.The huge trees.The flowers.The green plants.All were sleeping and no one knew,I have arrived.

I was appalled by the beauty before me but was sad,thinking about the minuscule of life I had to enjoy this.In me, echoed the  voice of elders,"There was no real purpose of our birth.And by our death,we hope to be reborn to tell the tales of wonder who chose to go down this path."

It was then,a little girl with her grandfather came running to me.I was trembling with fear,for the blanket under which I hid myself was opened.

"Look,grandpa.Look at what I have found.See,this is shining at the tip of the rose bud.Look, how pretty is it ? "

"Oh dear, its dew drop."

At this moment, I realised my purpose of life which was smaller than an eye-blink.I am alive to help a little girl form a beautiful memory.And as long as she is able to recall my existence and be happy about it,even if it was for a moment,I consider myself to have "lived".A huge life span doesn't matter unless,if we are able to spark a tinge of happiness in at least a person.

Though,ephemeral.I understand,I am eternal in a little girl's memory!

****

Note: Bit late due to hectic schedule at work.Nonetheless,continuing with the challenge!! :)

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaWSZXUuxYfeHMtVHqAwY7QBApW8y0KVlVqdbKZCd3AYAWil4wqUyVYyicZ9z3hmFoOQ3Aacj9UmP97kaUsdjor0Eei_OyJwV-7vCqo0iA6fCUmDkESQjxNMcFqGNI1JpZZ33yUqnrPpqy/s1600/E.jpg

Discrepancy !

He was the head of "The Company".To be precise,he was the only employee of his company.He just had revamped his largest system of records and he had a lot of pending work.His upgrade was to make sure that the information was stored with utmost security.He could trust none.

“One hell of a job to manage all these records!!”.He felt frustrated.A few hours into tracking and loading the new system,he could not find the any relation or place for some 21,000 records.He was confused.

"Were these records previously present or did he make mistakes ?"

He was too lazy to check his backup data and rather found the easy way,deleting all the mismatched records.Well,he was being the boss.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
All news channels were flashing the latest news - Japan hit by a massive earthquake of magnitude 8.9 and followed by a destructive Tsunami.Almost 3000 people feared dead.

Few days later - The count increased to 21,000.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Yeah, pretty much settled ”. He smiled.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note : Being creative ;)

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Monday Blues...!

 

There is no meaning in comparison of any forms.Every individual who has born is unique,with different capabilities.It is "us" who wants a routine,a rigid-ness or a normalcy in this chaotic world bring up the social norms of being similar.From the day a child is born,she / he has to follow certain unsung rules put forth by the society.There is no escape from it as we all have adjusted to confine our minds in the box.The box of being mediocre."Its all we need,a life of being mediocre".The society tells us and we are conditioned to believe it.We are made sure that fire of survival is being drained away.And we force ourselves as well as our babies to it,in the due process we kill our purpose of being born :)

And it takes years again,to find the "true calling" most of them ignore that as they have been taught to.Others,who try to follow their life purpose is ridiculed to such an extent that most of them simply give up that spark the "soul" or "gut" have been trying to give them.But then there are a handful of the people,who are able to find the magic.They had held on , persisted until they found that light at the end of tunnel...

Be that persistent fellow,who define the real strength,who display the true courage,who discover their life's purpose.

A little piece of my mind.

 

 

Chaos of my mind...

Here lies beneath me, the reason
A reason,why my days and my nights
Are filled with bloody clouds
from where only red blood rain falls
When and ever I look up,I see him
The God,with a red hot rod
He ordered me to find "The One"
Who had sworn to spill my blood
And then fill me with his evilness
I ignored the voice at first
I ignored his grant appearances
I kept running,my eyes wide open
I could not hide from him
Even the sleep alluded me
I could no longer ignore,
Nor could I run any longer
I realised the day has to come
To kill the devil for good
I reached his door step
I saw a reflection of myself
It was my face and features
The God whispered,
"He is the one,who pollutes your world"
"He is the little angel who suck your blood"
The evil God growled at me,
Kill him and free yourself…
I hammered him once,
I hammered him once more
There he lies underneath me
Blood oozing out from him
     and drenching me in full
He was dead and now I am free
The voice in my head went quiet
And so did the appearances of evil god
*********************************************
It rained water that evening .
And my sky was clear...
*********************************************

Note : A whole of new type of work began at my office,which is quite chaotic !! at this beginning stage :D

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Buoyant

your breaths give me my life
and i am all pumped up by it
i am here as a cluster of colours
just to take your breath away
i aim to fly the farthest in sky
where the wind takes me to
my ties, i know, are safe with you
you know, how delicate am i ?
a prick or two, make me burst out
i am sometimes a memory
a nostalgia, or a fleeting happy moment
in somebody's life
i have no wishes or worries
i can only be flying high
as long as i know,i am loved by you

Note : A buoyant life of a ballon :)

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An Aubade

a mistress,I am to you
clad in a seductive white
i wait for you
deeply rooted in here
as the night grows old
i yearn for you more
and sing this song of twilight
though miles apart we are
never can hold our hands
or kiss
but your gaze,those
soft moonlit rays,
from the heavens
i glow and twinkle
in your love
i grow whimsical
nothing more do I need
and as this aubade ends
i too will wilt away
yearning for your love
from this far across land!

Note : A song between the moon and water lily,at twilight

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March Marched Away...

Leaving me lazier than ever!!

The sultry march was so longg...as if in a deep slumber to protect itself from the growing heat of summer.Yet,she did bring me a few good things ,

• Finally it came to me as a big relief that I was misdiagnosed.It all started with a wrong blood report,on the basis of which medicines were administrated to me,which in turn threw my health out of balance!!I had a massive weight gain,hair thinning,mood swings,dizziness,heart burns,ulcers....etc.And I stopped taking the medicines based on my gut feeling and voila,every single health issue subsided the next day and vanished within a week :).Now,back to normal.Though this did affect my blog posts but nonetheless,a healthy body is most important!


• At work,no work!! :).We had a whole month of free time,due to our client being on his paternity leave and our project being on maintenance mode.And I lazily spend the entire month surfing the internet,FB,WP Blogs,Quora.And the  finally deactivated all accounts except for blogs here.Well,I am at peace


• My girl,is all grown up and will be at a summer camp next week to reduce her boredom at home.When we started looking for play schools for here,for one of the so called best school in my area,apparently,2 years is age-over for day care and she has to take "extra classes" to catch up when she starts actual school at June.Well,I decided that my girl would never be taking any stupid extra classes to grow up.


• And here at blogs,I had the maximum views,comments and visitors since this blog has started,which has made me super happy!!

Now April is here,so will be the "New Year" as per our traditions.This month used to bring a lot of happiness,get togethers of families,yellow flowers,unniyappams,ah....Though days are going to be hotter,I can feel the numbness of being a grown up!!

 

Monday Blues!

Dated : 21-March-2016

Cheers :)

At 3,I believed happiness was everywhere and in everybody.

At 5,I believed happiness was to see everything this world just by climbing up my dad's shoulders!

At 6,happiness was when I got to eat my favourite biscuits as snacks .

At 8,happiness was when I won the first district level competition for a painting contest.

At 11, I was on cloud nine, when my parents bought me that cute birthday dress after repeated requests from months before :).

At 13, Oh my evergreen pick hero bicycle!!

At 15,Happiness was all wrapped up in that proud feeling of topping my school.

At 18, The excitement to be able to become an Engineer that too in a Govt college,without burning a hole in my parents emergency funds.

At 19, Finding my way out of innocence of childhood,trying out adventures with friends,late night talks,hostel pranks,cultural,dances :) Sweet!

At 20, It has to be the look returned by the boy I had a huge crush upon,well that made me happy :D

At 21,Securing that first job,happiness was redefined when I saw tears in my amma's eyes!

At 22,I'm sure it was the first salary I earned :D and the independence it bought.

At 25,earning a decent salary and being able to help my dad built our home and I realised money do bring happiness.

At 26, Getting married to "The One, R"

At 26,blush blush...First Kiss,how can I miss that ;).Damn,more than being happy,I was nervous!!

At 29, Holding my little girl before anyone else could have :D,that is the most happiest I have ever felt.I do certainly believe, this cannot be topped off with..:D

At 30,Being here..I know,I can go home to see my girl who will be waiting.I know,I have my mom and dad to take care of me no matter the age.I know,I have a superb hubs waiting for my return.I know,I have a better job that most of the people.The realisation,has made me more humble and happy.So,yes,This moment makes me happy

In response to the IndiSpire Edition 108 : What does happiness mean to you? Do you go looking for happiness?

A Lifetime Memory

It been just 2 years, but you, my little daughter...you have given me a lifetime of memories already.Right from the day when showed up as two small lines in the pregnancy test results till yesterday, I have collected and stored every single moment with you.I still vividly remember this poem, which I had written about you while being pregnant,

My Angel

Overwhelmed with joy
My eyes brim with tears
When I saw my little angel

My hands tremble with fear
On touching her tender face
For  I was afraid
My roughness would hurt her

Getting her to my arms
Was a true divine moment
It was nowhere similar
To what I had always imagined

Holding her in arms
A longing dream of mine
Truly a bundle of joy
That  I had in my arms

Cute eyes and small nose
Rose lips and Soft toes
Nowhere she resembled me
As her father said…

Suddenly she twists,
Raising her closed pink fist
As though in protest
For disturbing her sleep

Rocking her back to sleep
I watched my lovely gift
And I realize that,
My life has changed forever

And, turns out you were exactly the same :).

My life changed the moment I held you in my arms.I still remember my heavy screaming during my delivery, but that was nothing close to emotional the first moment I first saw you.You, a tiny pink creature who refused to wail.I was so worried that you were not crying.Maternity Instincts :P.Though, you had already started looking at everyone trying to understand your new world.You were curious and happy.Your smile, your cries, your giggly laughs.Suddenly my world had become more colourful.

Your pink fists and your tiny feet.I simply loved to hold them forever.I still remember how much I turned motherly, even before I knew when you came into my life.I sensed danger everywhere and restricted you in many ways later realising how much a fool was I.

I don’t think that I can ever forget those trips for vaccinations.Your tiny screams and the painful nights, made me regret letting you take those injections.And how can I forget the days when you were shivering with fever.I would never have prayed so hard before.

Then the day came when I had to cut short my maternity leave to join office back.I trembled and cried, not knowing how I will survive without you.I simply ran to see you for every opportunity I have had(made).

Your first tooth to the day when you sat on your own.Your first incomprehensible word to the day you called me “amma”.Your first kiss for me to the day you danced with me.Your first song, your first tantrum, your dance in diapers, you mimicking me, you trying to converse in sentences, you being jealous when I talk to other babies.I have every single one of them in stored perfectly in my memory.

”N” you have made me the weakest and also the strongest.You made me realise that life can never be taken for granted.To almost losing you last year until now, you have showed me that grit is what it takes to swim against the waves at times of despair.

Thank you for all those wonderful memories you have given me and to many more that has to come!.Thanks for being my girl, my daughter.
To view my memories,click the link below:
https://memories.hdfclife.com/message/UEtmAUAYuQaqmc4NYpLbUg==

“Share your #MemoriesForLife like I’ve done at BlogAdda for HDFC Life.”

 

 

Awakening

I closed my eyes, opened a dream
Took a peek into my past
A canvas with no memories or souvenirs
I realise, my time, trickled away...

I closed my dream,opened my eyes,
Time still trickled, but,

I am awake and alive !

 

 

An Ode to February

February brings in a lot of love,as it is the official birthday month at our home :D.My dada,my mom,myself and my little "N" share our birthdays in this month and thus this is very special.We kind of have to compensate for the rest of the birthday less year.This month reminds me of cakes,new dress,food.With "N" arrival,its has changed as now she gets to enjoy all of these. :).In this month

• My girl turned 2.She is the most prized gift I ever had.I believed,I almost lost her but then she had to be there,to make me understand a lot of things I had taken for granted.Happy birthday "N"!! :)


• It was my dad and mom birthdays too.I was very happy to be able to be with them to celebrate their birthdays.


• And myself,I turned 30 and it was difficult till now :P.An entire post to follow on that.

Thanks February for being a reminder of how sweet life can be.!! ;)

Monday Blues

 

Oh,the realisation

Hit me hard

Made me pause

I then continued

But,I was a new me.

After...

Its a weirdly strange place

A barren world and I

My clothes were torn,

Dried throat and dead eyes

I hear only a faint hissing

I sweat,only to drop blood

And I smell like burnt flesh

There,I find a tattered piece of a skull

I become curious and fight my tiredness

I search to find,if there are any

                       reminiscent pieces

I walk for long hours

I am weaker than before

I just wanted to quench my thirst

I forgot my trail and mission

I turn around only to be surprised.

I am here again,where I was

And I find the missing pieces

Of broken skull

A few withered away

And few cracked ones

Some with flesh on it

I try to put them together

It slowly shaped to become me...

I was all afraid and I try to run

But my feet grows deep roots

I sink and my soul disappeared

Much to my dismay,

I fell asleep to eternity

Note : Had a weird dream and I think it was something like above.

The Reply.

“Doc, Its an emergency.10 year old boy,fell from a tree.External bruises.Unconscious".
Briefed the nurse.

*****

“Come on, kiddo…Please, just breathe…one more time .”

*****

Outside the Casualty, amidst the wailing parents, all I could mumble was,

“I am sorry”

 

 

 

Promise me my love :)

Promise me my love,
Never to lose that twinkle in your eyes
Every time you set your eyes on me

Promise me my love,
Never to stop smiling from your heart
When you see me even after a long tiring day

Promise me my love,
You will entwine your fingers with mine,hold my hand 
And share all about those silly stories

Promise me my love,
You will fight with me for things that matter
And sort them before its time to bed

Promise me my love,
You will always be you
And you will help me stay as me

Promise me my love,
That my place, right on your chest, wrapped in your arms
Will always be there for me

Promise me my love,
To hold me, to caress me and to kiss me
Even when I grow old with wrinkles and warts

Promise me my love,
That you will keep every promise to our little daughter
For you are her true superhero

Promise me my love,
To keep looking into my eyes and not on that iPhone
When I come to share you a gossip or a story :)

Promise me my love,
That you will always read my stories and sing my poems
You will help to support me in filling colors to my dreams 

Promise me my love,
To keep loving me forever and ever
Even after the certain death, that may keep us apart...

Promise me my love,
That you will keep every one of these promises to me.

My dearest hubs, "R".This one is for you.

Words just flew out from me when I just thought about you,my dear husband.You are already a gem of person.Touchwood!! .

We have been married only for 3 years now, but I am bombarded with your love from all sides.You have been very kind enough to be who you are and you are perfect in that way.

I know you don't always talk,you don't move a muscle when you are deep in your work.I also know that amount of coaxing by me can get you to  drop me unless I am sick.But none of this comes any close to as a complaint for what you have given me.You have given me that freedom for me to be independent and be who I want to be.I thus have absolutely no qualms about any thing else.These promises to keep, I am damn sure that this must have been a mission for me,instead for you.

Love you "R" :)

I’m blogging about the kasams I want from my man this Women’s Day with the #SadaSexy activity at BlogAdda

https://youtu.be/nft-m45r6I4

 

Happy Women's Day!

Women - what a phenomenal creatures are we ?

We all have a spark in us.

The desires,the happyness,the sadness,the courage,the strength,the choices,the talent,the guts.But we also have a heart,which at most of the times it melts away or make us go weak!

We certainly have come a long way from stepping out of our home and celebrating our day,but most of us still try to get back to that social norm as soon as the day the over.We need to bring forward the ideas in us to the mainstream and help built a better place for our children.The struggle taken up by our grandmothers and mothers is what has given us this space to talk and act,which we must carry forward for our children.

Now,how to make things work ,depends only us and our attitude!!

 

 

 

Yugantha : The end of an epoch.

Well,I been reading

By Author

Irawati Karve,a well know researcher from Burma has written “Yugantha” which is a set of quality essays based on the well known tale of Mahabharatha. She has also written much about  other academic and general subjects.She is such a delight to read.

And this is all about ?

A set of essays retelling the epic,”Mahabharata”,in such a way that it does create a set of doubts on its authenticity!A thought provoking read,retold in such a way to create strong doubts about the tale.The book consists of essays which are critiques of different characters such as Gandhari, Kunti, Draupadi, Karna and Krishna etc which is based on the oldest available editions of Mahabharata,which itself helps us to wane of many side stories which might have been added later on as part of culture or traditions.

So, how was it ?

A must read for those who are interested in history and also for those with inquisitive minds,who would have had hundreds of questions while hearing the stories from their grand parents or parents.Once read through these essays,the author was able to cast a shadow of doubt in my mind about the authenticity of the characters presented.At some point of time,it did occur to me that the tale is not entirely fictious. A different set of thoughts bubbled up in me about the various characters in the tale,while reading through the essays which was certainly not what I had presumed or heard or told to me.

All the characters were stripped of their godliness only to be interpreted as humans with all the character flaws .The author did manage to dig deep into them and present the facts.

My personal favourite read from the lot was related with Bhisma and Draupadi.

Extra Notes : A more poetic and sensual read would be Randamoozham by MT,which is also retelling of the same tale  from “Bhima’s “point of view.

30 / 31 Birthday_Bucket_List

Hurray,I turned 30. And what a relief,I am still the same :D

Just that I was down with an ear-splitting cough[for neighbours] and undetectable fever[yess...,visible only on the doc's thermometer,alas!!].

Celebrated the day with a surprise outing planned by hubs in between his busy [boring] schedule,and the with movie "Deadpool".And then back to home,where I got to cut my  favourite cake,bought by my dearest,  Dad.

And as to keep up with the tradition, "29 / 30 List" I am hereby putting up my 30 / 31 : list of "30" things which I want to complete doing this year and capture the very essence of me stepping into my "Thirties" :)

And here comes the list,

1	Read a book every week and write a review on it. You can find my reviews on this blog,and the updates on Goodreads. Its sada to say that I could never be on time with my "how-i -felt" posts about the books,though I am almost through the challenge.
2	A huge makeover to my technical blog !
3	Bake an original 2 tier cake with icing  Wait for the picture !
4	Bring in a morning / night routine for making more benefits out of me.
5	Stitch at least 3 salwar.
6	Learn to drive car confidently.
7	Set up a beauty routine.Perks of stepping into 30's :) Another pending post!!
8	Show up at the gym,Do that workout, Run,Go breathless. Its safe to say that Gym has become a routine in my schedule  and I am so very happy about working out as well!!
9	Create three distinct paintings,for the very sheer of creating it.
10	Plan a lovely get away for a week :D . Went to Munnar.And yess,planning for yet another for New Year's!!
11	Switch off -Nonsense TV,Chattering FB,Intriguing Quora especially after evening. Yess...FB,Quora and TV and all those mindless stuff are off limits.I have made this rule to myself that if I have checked a site once in a day,I will no longer open it up again! And the time to check is after gym :)Well if no gym on a day,then there is no entertainment that day :P
12	Plan and sketch and make a high yielding ,self-sustaining vegetable garden - For amma
13	Plan and sketch and make an elegant outdoor garden - with pool,green turf,birds nest,potted plants.
14	Music is good,listen to them more often.  And a couple of songs does make me high!!
15	Learn something new which helps me with my work both technically and personal skills
16	Make some time and actually,start writing my novel - every day.Finish before Nov
17	Make a cute terrarium for living place   Post to follow up soon :)
18	Clear off my credit card loan - Payment in 6 months and Not to use it ever again.  Finally,I have locked up my credit card,though it was very helpful at times,but then locking it up was one of the best decisions I have made so far :)
19	Make cookies at home
20	Start and make an up to date - diary for N  Instead I got an email-id for my girl and send almost daily-weekly mails to her :)
21	Make a money making android app and publish it in google play :)
22	Make sketching with a routine.Try everything - Zentangle,Doodles,Simple Sketches anything,but keep sketching
23	Spend more time with family - especially with my little girl "N".She is growing up too fast :)
24	Bring on meditation into my life,even if it is for 5 minutes a day.
25	Blog more frequently and with more variety,connect to like-minded people,built a huge friendship network :)..what are the odds !
26	Write about all these projects :)
27	Travel at least to some nearby places :)   Explored near by tourist places like Thenmala, Dams, Kuttikanam :)
28	Being bold,patient and myself.To be able to do that shit which my faint little voice keeps telling :)
29	Blog every alternate day
30	To be decided

One Lovely Blog Award

Whoaaaaa..I am nominated for my first award and coincidently its the day when I gad completed a year of random musings about my journey,here!!.My heartfelt, thanks to "The Girl Behind the Glasses" for considering me for this Lovely award :).I wish Adhi,all the very best in her blogging journey.If you have not checked out her,do it now as its loaded with a lot of love.



7 Facts about me :

• I am a Software Engineer :),completing almost 8 years in the industry and I absolutely love it here!


• I love a rainy-cloudy-windy day.First the clouds gathering,then the winds blowing and the rain drops spluttering everywhere,all at once.Its heavenly!!


• I can fall asleep,anywhere, in matter of seconds,which is what my husband is most jealous about,haha..


• I hate coffee,cold drinks,soda,milk,tea but absolutely love drinking loads of water!!


• I kind of have a weird fascinations towards trees.I love trees all green and vibrant or all brown,dried and branched out.They tell me stories.Oh,I do love leaves and flowers as well.


• I still love watching Tom and Jerry,Donald Duck,The Duck Tales :D


• I am married to the most amazing person and I have a daughter,who is turning two this month!! :)

And my nominees are:

• Passionate Ambika


• Literature is my Porn


• The Chaos Within


• Some Thoughts,Many Words


• The Tea Cerebrations


• Worldly Words


• Love, Life and Whatever


• Udayology


• Life As A Potpourri


• The Learning Curve


• The Parashar's Palette


• Editions of Green Boochi


• The Glass Bangle


• TRANQUIL yet Alive


• Dew Drops

 

To accept:
1. Thank the person who nominated you and include a link to their blog.
2. List the rules and display the award.
3. Add 7 facts about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers and…
5. Leave a comment on one of their posts to let them know they have been nominated.

 

Love is...!!

Love is...when your husband,who has never entered a kitchen,except to eat,storms in there and cooks up a delicious dinner only to surprise you!! :D

Ours was an arranged marriage and it took my husband only about 30 mins of chat with me to say “Yesss!!!”. I,on the other hand was utterly confused and tensed if the decision was made in a haste .The only thing I was able to notice then,in my future-husband was his smile,which was beaming straight from heart,or so I felt.I am a very introvert person while my hubs is totally outgoing ,talkative,fun loving guy.And slowly he made me realise that he is the perfect partner for me.It took us 3 months after marriage to be together under the same roof.It was then, we found our love!

Setting up our new home and the start the new life,learning the likes and dislikes of each other,learning the small nuances of life together,buying things for home,or for kitchen,everything was a different and sometimes difficult.But,when ever I look at him,there he would be present with that smile and the solution to almost all my problems.The ease with which he made me slip to our life was something I can never understand.He too was in a new place,new state but he managed everything or was it his smile,that helped me relax ? I don’t know for sure!!

We both work in the IT sector and it was so difficult to reach home on time to cook the dinner.Almost every other day,I crib in my sleep about the traffic,dinner making and dish washing process.I was tired and just wanted a break.

And one day,I was very late and was hurrying to reach home,I was so surprised to see my hubby there.He had come in early.“Oops”,I was thinking what will I cook up something quick ? He used to be late every other day and today he had to come early ? Sigh!!

I told him that I will cook up something very quick and without even changing my clothes,I rushed to the kitchen,only to see a chaotic,messed up,war-zoned kitchen.I could see almost all the dishes,plates out of the cupboard.All the vegetables,dal,masalas, out of their boxes or the fridge.And even more soiled plates.I was aghast!!

And as I turned ,I saw my handsome husband,with his trademark smile,was all ready with an elaborate dinner of palak paneer, vegetable thoran, muringa-dal curry ,rice, chapati, omelette for us :D.I vent out such a huge sigh filled with laughter,both by the relief of not having to make dinner and being able to gorge on such a elaborate dinner.The tiredness vanished from my face and there I was laughing out so loud along with my husband,while all my thoughts were about him.He had noticed my cribbing,my tiredness,and came home early only to surprise me with a tasty dinner.And,yes,I cleaned up the kitchen while he washed the dishes.This event bring me tears of happiness every time I think about it.

And I realised I have such a perfect gem with me and I am glad,he said "Yess...."!!

“This post is a part of #LoveAndLaughter activity at BlogAdda in association with Caratlane.”

https://youtu.be/ya3Z1AC1CHA

 

Black Tick Mark Socks!

"Son,are these your own socks ? They have some black tick marks."

Oh! That mama ?

Everyday at school,the richie rich Joe and his friends tease me for not having "the black tick mark socks".

So, "I made them on my own!"

Monday Blues!

 

How true is this quote ?This one quote is all needed to remind us that we need to wake up from the dream slumber we put ourselves in.All those things,we keep saying to ourselves we will do and then at some point of time,we are certain that we did it,and then wait for stellar results.

This quote is that one big kicka$$ reminder!! :D

 

Five-Friday-Finds

I have always felt that Fridays have a special soothing aroma which has the capacity to bring smiles to every alike,except those who gets to work on weekends for support(@ my office).As always here is the list of quick interesting reads,

1. Here's everything about our Milky way!


2. A eerie unsolved mystery that I happened to come across..


3. Yet another list of great books to be read!!How I wish ,I had all the time in the world for reading them!!


4. The longgg history of Butterflies


5. Why do we have chins ? :)

 

Wishing all a happy weekend! :)

A Bird, a Plane, You!

I have always wanted to travel and I am more than happy if I can travel through time.Well,I don’t want to alter the past or the future.

Let the things,the places,the events,the people be just the same.All I want is to witness some of the most important things of history happening right in front of me.Just like rewinding and watching a videotape,I would love to watch all the events happened in this world,of course with me in it :).Events that capture my curiosity would be,

• The Indus Valley civilisation,how they developed their script,what happened to them ?Were they attacked and wiped out ? Or did they manage to migrate else where ?

• Or may be if the great war -Mahabharatha really happen ? Can I get a seat at the arena to hear Lord Krishna delivering Bhagavad Gita ?


• How did they built the Great wall of China or the Great Pyramid built ? 

[caption id="attachment_2003" align="alignnone" width="624"] Image Courtesy[/caption]

• If only,I could,I would love to watch Susruta,conducting precise medical surgeries  ?
  
  [caption id="attachment_2060" align="alignnone" width="460"] Image Courtesy[/caption]


• How blood-ish was the French revolution ? How agitated were the people ?How did people take the world by storm ?

[caption id="attachment_1991" align="alignnone" width="441"] Image Courtesy[/caption]

• I am getting all goosebumps while thinking about the one chance to listen to the revolutionising speeches of Gandhi or Hitler or Lenin or Churchill ?

[caption id="attachment_2008" align="alignnone" width="489"] Image Courtesy[/caption]

• May be walk along side Gandhi on Dhandi March ! And be a part of our freedom struggle.

[caption id="attachment_2015" align="alignnone" width="487"] Image Courtesy[/caption]

• What about a time travel to the atrocities committed by Nazis ? Inspired by E.M Night 


• Well,how about travelling to the time when Charles Darwin who wrote the Origin of Species and researched about evolution? Or even Copernicus proclaiming that "Sun rather than the Earth at the center of the universe"

[caption id="attachment_1998" align="alignnone" width="341"] Image Courtesy[/caption]

• I want to know all about the landing on moon by Neil Armstrong."That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."

[caption id="attachment_2012" align="alignnone" width="380"] Image Courtesy[/caption]

Ha..there are so many !! :)

Closer home,I would love to go back to the time when my brother was born…I still love his pink feet :D and if I could re-live all the fun and innocence of my carefree childhood  days!

I would absolutely be on cloud nine,if I could only go on for a time travel on to the exact day my girl 'N' was born :).

Being a part of something historical,something mysterious,something important and finding out how it might have happened,I believe that is an experience in itself for a life time.!

In response to the Daily Post : A Bird, a Plane, You!